Little Dreamer's Eyes
Darlin' dreamin in the night, shadows on the windows
6.23.2005
Doubt
I think I know.
I say I know.
I believe I know.
Then there are brief moments where I think maybe I don't know. There's nothing wrong. Everything's fine. I am not sad and then the possibility that there is no place to go but down, if not up, surfaces.
And suddenly I feel doubt.
I ask questions that need not be asked. I ask questions that have already been answered. I look too far ahead or too far back for this fleeting moment when I just do not know. I want to know. Maybe I say I know because I want to. Maybe I believe I know because I'm trying to convince myself.
Maybe I need to be convinced.
How disappointing it is to realize that maybe I don't know. Maybe all I know is that I feel doubt and the only way I can defeat the doubt is to challenge it by looking it in the face and telling it that I know. That I do not doubt. That I am stronger than doubt and knowing is what makes me stronger.
But that would be only if I knew, without a shadow of a doubt.
I say I know.
I believe I know.
Then there are brief moments where I think maybe I don't know. There's nothing wrong. Everything's fine. I am not sad and then the possibility that there is no place to go but down, if not up, surfaces.
And suddenly I feel doubt.
I ask questions that need not be asked. I ask questions that have already been answered. I look too far ahead or too far back for this fleeting moment when I just do not know. I want to know. Maybe I say I know because I want to. Maybe I believe I know because I'm trying to convince myself.
Maybe I need to be convinced.
How disappointing it is to realize that maybe I don't know. Maybe all I know is that I feel doubt and the only way I can defeat the doubt is to challenge it by looking it in the face and telling it that I know. That I do not doubt. That I am stronger than doubt and knowing is what makes me stronger.
But that would be only if I knew, without a shadow of a doubt.